The horror move remake....or reboot, or "re-imagining" or whatever you want to call it.  Some people absolutely loathe them, some people simply tolerate them, and others like me, view a remake just like any other film. It will either be good or it won't.  I think there are many remakes that were done right, and (GASP) some that were better than the original!

I will admit that many times I just don't see the point of a remake, especially when the original still holds up over time. Having said that, there are many times where I am pleasantly surprised, and other times I want to puke in my suit. 

For this article, I'm going to throw out a mix of horror remakes that I liked, along with a few I thought were putrid.

Side note before we get started. Whenever someone screams "REMAKES SUCK!" someone else will say, "What about 'The Fly' and 'The Thing'?", and the first person will inevitably agree, which immediately destroys the REMAKES SUCK! argument. The reason I bring it up is....because The Fly/Thing argument has been made so often, I am going to leave those two films off this list.

So, enough rambling.....onto the list!

William Lustig's 1981 film "Maniac" starring the late, great Joe Spinell, is one of my favorite films. It's gritty, nasty and unrelenting. Who would have thought a remake would be any good?  Yet it is!  Elijah Wood, in his creepiest role bay far, does a great job, and the conceit of the film, in that it's shown entirely from the perspective of the killer, is a gimmick that completely works! I thought it was a good choice to move the setting to LA and I like the sort of "neon" styling to the film. This is a remake that, while it can never surpass the original, comes very close to matching it.

What is the point of doing a remake if you're not even going to attempt to bring anything new to the table? This effort (if you can call it that) by director Gus Van Sant is a complete waste of time. The only reason I saw it is because I wanted to see if it really was as bad as I had heard.  Well, it's wasn't.  It was actually worse.  It's almost a shot for shot remake, and copies most of Hitchcock's camera angles and editing.  Hell, they even re-used most of the original score (though with a new arrangement by Danny Elfman and Steve Bartek). Vince Vaughn gives a performance worse than a plank of wood, and the movie is a complete failure. If you're going to try and remake a horror classic, by one of cinema's greatest directors, at least try to put your own stamp on it. Skip this one at all costs!

I am definitely a fan of George Romero's 1973 original, but I think that this remake is the rare type that actually surpasses the original, even if it's just by a small margin. For those who are unfamiliar with the plot, a biological weapon, the Trixie virus, is accidentally released in a small town, turning some of them into, you guessed it, "crazed" killers who go about picking off their neighbors one-by-one.  I think what makes this one good is that each member of the requisite group of survivors is actually likeable. There are a lot of great set pieces, and the only real negative I can think of is that the film might be a bit too long, but I think the ending definitely makes up for that!  

There are decent remakes.  There are bad remakes, and then there's this steaming pile of garbage. It seems that all John Carpenter films are destined to be remade, and John Carpenter himself has said that he doesn't mind the checks, so we're stuck with dreck like this. The 1980 original, is a creepy and atmospheric ghost story that has since reached classic status. The original cast has been de-aged to the point where they seem like a bunch of college students stumbling around after a drunken frat party, and the original films gloom has been replaced with shitty CGI fog.  I'll also never understand the decision to toss some nonsense about reincarnation into the relatively simple plot of ghostly pirates seeking bloody vengeance.  "The Fog" is one of those films where you kind of just have to nod your head when people say, "Remakes suck!"

This is another film that is often mentioned as one of the best remakes of all time, and rightfully so.  It has a great cast, including Donald Sutherland, Leonard Nimoy, Jeff Goldblum and Brooke Adams.  It's a tense, anxiety-filled thriller that is expertly directed by Phil Kaufman. The film does a great job of moving the story from the original McCarthy era setting to post-Vietnam, and the cinematography, with a ton of great closeups and low-angle shots, adds to the sense of paranoia that pervades the film.  Not to mention that, for my money, this film has one of the greatest endings of any horror film.  The next time someone tells you that remakes suck, instead of mentioning "The Fly" again, throw this one at them!

Let's face it, the 1979 original is not exactly great, but it definitely has a lot of charm and it's generally well regarded by horror fans, mostly because of Carol Kane's convincing performance.  Come on, we all thought the idea that the calls were coming from inside the house was pretty cool!  In this pointless remake, director Simon West thinks that if he just makes the soundtrack boom with loud noises, people will be scared. Somehow, close-ups on phones that aren't even ringing and violently shaking bushes as star Camilla Belle runs past them are supposed to be frightening. The original is tame by today's "gore" standards, but it achieved it's goal of creeping us out.  The remake does nothing except make us wish it would just be over.

Wes Craven's 1977 original is considered one of the most relentlessly brutal horror films, especially of that era.  Well, Alexandre Aja's remake takes that brutality to a whole new level.  The raw depravity of it surprised even The Horror Nerd a bit when I saw it in the theater, but I have to say, the extreme violence and horror made sense in the context of the story.  The cringe inducing set pieces weren't just there "to be there". There are fantastic performances throughout the film, and the cinematography is outstanding.  I think what makes it particularly unbearable is that the victims are actually likeable, and they do not deserve the fate that befalls them. Basically, this film is an endurance test for all but the most jaded and desensitized film-goer.

I'm pretty sure that the only reason this waste of celluloid was made was because some studio executive realized that the could build a marketing campaign around the fact that they could release the film on 6/6/2006 (6/6/6, get it? So cool!) Star Liev Schreiber does his best to carry this film, but it's just too much weight.  It just plods along, and it's incredibly boring.  Richard Donner's 1976 original slowly builds a sense of dread and every so often, a shocking death scene comes along. Gregory Peck also does a fantastic job of making us think that maybe, just maybe, his kid is not the son of the devil, but that he might just be going crazy and it's all in his head. Somehow, director John Moore took a story about the Son of Satan and made it completely tiresome.  Do yourself a favor, stick to the original where the haunting score alone puts this entire remake to shame.

I always take a lot of heat for this one, and I get it, I really do. I understand the reverence for Sam Raimi's original "The Evil Dead" and I am well aware of it's importance in horror film history.  However, I do not revere it the way many horror fans do, and I will always maintain that the sequel is far superior. But, we're talking about Fede Alvarez's remake here, which I feel is one of the best horror remakes to ever come along. I like the sub-plot that our group of future victims is helping one of their own overcome a heroin addiction. Well, of course, Deadite mayhem ensues, and the blood flows, quite liberally I might add.  There is none of the absurd humor or overacting that makes the original so charming. This is one of the bloodiest, most visceral horror films of the 21st century so far, and it's unrelenting.  This is a great example of what a filmmaker can do when they take the original, and build upon it to turn it into something new.  Trust me horror fans, it's totally OK to love the original and enjoy the remake at the same time!

 I saved this one for last because it always gets me in trouble. There are a LOT of people who like this film.  There are some who even say that it's better than John Carpenter's original. Well, they're wrong. I get why they might say that though.  Director Rob Zombie amps up the violence and gore in his waste of time remake, and that's what 21st century horror audiences seem to want. They can't deal with tension or a slow burn.  They just want to see gore and violence.  While that has it's place to be sure, it doesn't "make" a movie.  I just don't see why so many people love this movie.  Rob Zombie has a good eye for cinematography, I'll give him that, but I'm sorry (not) folks, but he is a terrible writer.  He took everything that made the original good, and bastardized it, including giving Michael Myers some lame backstory about being a sad kid who had a shitty childhood.  WHAT?  Michael Myers used to be a symbol of evil.  A seemingly normal person from a suburban family who becomes a killer.  Now he's just another troubled kid lashing out at the world? Fuck outta' here!  We're not supposed to feel sorry for Michael Myers!  Oh, and what the hell is that scene where Michael holds up a photo of one of the characters like he's a detective asking someone, "Have you seen this person?"  I could go on and on, but I feel my blood pressure going up. Stop, just stop.  Please stop pretending that this is a good movie just because you are a fan of Rob Zombie.  
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ps: I wonder if Malcolm McDowell regrets taking on the iconic role of Dr. Loomis. I know I would.

Well, there you have it folks.  Five remakes I liked, and five, well, not so much.  What do you think?  Do you agree? Disagree? Think I should quit giving my opinion?  

I hope you enjoyed my choices in any case, and I am already thinking about some more remakes I'd like to write about.

Thanks for reading!

​The Horror Nerd

Halloween is coming, and it's time to watch our favorite horror films. Rather than re-hash the same "classics" that everyone has seen a thousand times, I though I would focus on some films that I feel are a bit more obscure or underrated. Let's jump right in!

This is one of my all time favorite "hidden" gems, and it still creeps me out! The story of how an anatomical dummy from a medical office slowly takes over the lives of a mentally ill man and his sister (with whom he has a very unhealthy relationship) is relatively simple. Many people complain that the film is slow, and it can be, but I still maintain that Pin, the doll, is extremely creepy and for some people, it will be nightmare fuel. I still have this on on VHS, and if you have a chance to see it, check it out!

This is one of my favorite haunted house films of all time. Whenever you have Bette Davis as the one sane person (we think) in the film, you've got something! Oliver Reed is awesome as always as he seems to hallucinate a creepy chauffer (tied to some childhood trauma), and the ever-amazing Karen Black makes us question our own sanity as she becomes completely obsessed with a never-seen old lady upstairs. This is a slow burn for sure, but you have to stick with it because the fear and anxiety definitely build, and the ending makes the journey worth it!

I saw "The Hamiltons" as part of After Dark Horrorfest, and it became on of my favorites of that event. I think that the less I actually say about the movie, the better it is, as I don't want to risk any spoilers. At it's core though, it's a horror film about a family of siblings just trying to get along without their recently deceased parents. Of course, there's a lot more to it than that. This one was written and directed by The Butcher Brothers and I have to say that it was one of the best entries in the After Dark Horrorfest series. It should be on anyone's Halloween viewing list.

Of course everyone remembers the original, starring Claude Raines, but the highly underrated follow up often goes unnoticed, and it's probably one of the best of the Universal Classic horror sequels. This time, Vincent Price stars as the Invisible Man. The plot is basically a continuation of the first film. Geoffrey Radcliffe is sentenced to death for the murder of his brother, which he did not commit. His jail cell is found empty, with only clothes left behind, and chaos ensues. Price is great as the protagonist, with the invisibility serum slowly driving him insane as it did the first Invisible Man. This time around though, the Invisible Man is a more tragic, sympathetic figure, and Price does a fantastic job conveying this. If you've never seen this film, you should immediately do so.

I am an unabashed fan of black and white horror films from the 1930's and 1940's, and this is one of my favorites. Bela Lugosi is back doing what he does best, which is being Bela Lugosi. In this "non-Dracula" vampire tale, Lugosi stars as a bloodsucker who is revived when a Nazi bomb uncovers his tomb, and an unwitting (or just dumb) gravedigger removes the stake from his heart. He then sets about getting his revenge on the family who stakes him years earlier. If you love classic vampire action as much as I do, then this one is a must see.

Sticking with the 1940's for now, this list could never be complete without "The Lodger", starring Laird Cregar as the titular character. It's London, and Jack the Ripper is terrorizing the streets. The Burton family takes in a mysterious lodger, and Mrs. Burton slowly begins to suspect that their tenant might actually be the Ripper, and he might be targeting her niece. The performances are gripping, and the entire film is gloomy and atmospheric. (Side note: Many people do not realize that this is a remake of the 1927 Hitchcock silent film, "The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog")

Thankfully, the entire film is available for viewing on YouTube. Watch it now!

This is another one from After Dark Horrorfest, and again, it's one of the better ones (in my no-so-humble opinion). Four friends set off in search of the supposedly extinct Tasmanian Tiger. Mayhem ensues. At it's core, this is a basic "people go into the woods and get slaughtered" movie, but it's bleak, nasty and gruesome and the writing and acting are far better than most films of this type. My only gripe is that some of the effects are a bit rough around the edges, but I can forgive that in light of the good story and acting, and that fact that the film is just unrelenting in its bleakness.

I only found out about this film a couple of years ago, and I'm glad I did! Usually when a film is "presented" by Guillermo Del Toro, it can be very hit-or-miss but that is definitely NOT the case here. This is a very creepy and atmospheric thriller, with a distinct giallo feel to it. The Julia of the title is losing her eyesight due to a disease that also affected her sister, who committed suicide rather than face blindness. Julia doesn't believe that her sister kills herself, so she goes about trying to prove it, despite her failing eyesight. I love the premise, AND the creepy characters she encounters along the way. You owe it to yourself to track this one down and watch it.

Let's go back to my favorite decade, the 1940's, for this next one. Dorothy McGuire plays a mute servant who works in a vast, creepy mansion. A killer is targeting girls who have physical deformities or other "abnormalities" and McGuire may be his next victim. I love this film for its gothic atmosphere, and the acting and cinematography are fantastic. If you like horror films from this era as much as I do, you're going to love this one.

To round out this list, I'm going with a lesser-known J-Horror film that came out back in 2005. It's one of the rate films that actually does found footage right. It can be a little hard to follow, and the conclusion is a bit convoluted, but it's got some genuinely good jump scares and a truly fantastic demon. The film is in the form of a documentary by a paranormal investigator who goes looking for a demonic entity known as Kagutaba and disappears. What starts with simple strange noises builds to what I believe is an awesome finale. Definitely give this one a try.

Well, there you have it folks! Take it from The Horror Nerd. Instead of watching "Halloween" or "Friday the 13th" for the 300th time, give these hidden gems a try, and let me know what you think!

I love horror, and I love trivia, so I figured, why not share some interesting horror film facts that I've come across over the years. Some of these you may know, some you may not, but I hope you enjoy these ten horror tidbits either way!

Fay Wray thought she would be starring with Cary Grant in "King Kong". While trying to convince her to star in the film, director Merian C. Cooper promised Wray "You're going to have the tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood".  Wray later recalled, "While my thoughts were flying towards the hope that Cooper might be waiting for Cary's arrival just as I was, Cooper went on to point at the giant ape and say, again, 'The tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood.'"

Sissy Spacek was not the first choice to play "Carrie".  Brian De Palma was a fan of Sissy Spacek’s work, but already had actress Betty Slade in mind as his Carrie. His decision to let Spacek audition at all was mostly out of courtesy to her husband, Jack Fisk, the film’s art director. Spacek showed up at her audition in with her hair slicked back with Vaseline and wearing an old sailor dress her mother had made for her. When she was done, she waited in the parking lot while her husband reviewed her audition with the rest of the production team. After Fisk came out to tell her that the part was hers, “We sped off before anybody could change his mind,” Spacek later told Rolling Stone magazine.  (Side note: Pamela Sue Martin, Jill Clayburgh, Linda Blair and Glenn Close also auditioned for the role.)

The Creature From the Black Lagoon was modeled after the Oscar statuette. Universal had managed to snag up and coming filmmaker Jack Arnold to direct. Arnold's documentary "With These Hands" had received an Academy Award nomination and Arnold kept the souvenir certificate that the Academy sent to all nominees. Arnold told Cinefantastique magazine in 1975, "There was a picture of the Oscar statuette on it and I said, 'If we put a gilled hand on the figurine, plus fins and scales, that would look pretty much like the kind of creature we're trying to get.'"  They made a mold out of rubber. Gradually the costume took shape, and the rest is cinema history!

An actual witch was hired to make "The Craft" more authentic. To ensure that the depiction of Wicca in the film was as realistic as possible, Sony hired Pat Devin as a consultant. Devin is a member of Covenant of the Goddess, one of the oldest and largest Wiccan religious organizations in the United States. At the time, she was First Officer of the group's Southern California Local Council. Devin played a big part in the production process and, at time, worked directly with the actresses. She later recalled, "A lot of my suggestions were acted upon and virtually all of my suggestions were given careful consideration, even if they didn't all end up in the final version of the film." (Source: An interview with John Brightshadow Yohalem, CoG, 1998).

Child's Play was inspired by (allegedly) real events.  Robert the doll, which was once owned by a Florida painter named Robert Eugene Otto, was supposedly cursed by a female servant who worked for Robert's parents. Apparently, the servant was the victim of abuse by the parents which led her to place a Voodoo curse on the doll. Like Chucky, Robert the Doll supposedly had the ability to speak, and the parents would hear there child having conversations with someone who would answer in a different voice. According to various other reports, the doll would sometimes blink and move on its own.  Today, the doll is on display at the Key West Martello Museum.

When filming "The Blair Witch Project", the actors received their instructions each day via way points, directed by GPS. Each of them had to locate their respective canister, read notes on where their character's story was going, and jump into filming. They were also instructed not to reveal their notes to the other actors.

Oh, and the bundle of sticks that Heather finds contained real hair and teeth. The hair came from co-star Joshua Leonard and the teeth were provided by Eduardo Sanchez's dentist.

Finally, because the actors were kept away from the press, and the marketing tactics used by the filmmakers, people actually thought that actress Heather Donahue was dead. Her mother even received sympathy cards!

There you go! Ten creepy trivia tidbits about some of your favorite horror films. I hoped you enjoyed these. I'll be back with more!